What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'
'Hold my purse.'
Men are like bank accounts.
Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
What you call dog with no legs?
Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
"Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." - Douglas Adams
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'. -Homer Simpson
Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil. - Jerry Garcia
Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman
The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
Everyone needs believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
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