Car service: If it ain't broke, we'll break it.
Son, employees are like mules. Some you stand in front of and coax them along with a carrot. Some you stand behind and kick them in the ass. The key to managemeant is knowing which mules are which.
In God we trust; all others must pay cash.
Who are you and how did you get in here? Frank: I'm a locksmith. And... I'm a locksmith...
Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement.
He's so lazy that if there were work in bed, he would rather sleep on the floor. - Paddy O'Dea
"Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back." - Al Bundy
Note - The key to a good relationship is the key. Give me back the key.
If there is a "WILL", there are 500 relatives.
It's 11PM, do you know where your pants are?
Whatever it is -- I didn't do it!
"Fragile. Do not drop." -- Posted on a Boeing 757
Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'?
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
This is a quantum car. I don't know where I am, but I'm going really fast.
Money doesn't make you happy. I now have $50 million but I was just as happy when I had $48 million.
You know the speed of light;so what is the speed of dark ?
Gene Police: You!! Out Of The Pool!
Your mama is so fat, when she sings, its over.
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