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Friday, September 24, 2010

Super Funny Quotes 3

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
 
If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way.
 
Men should be like Kleenex, soft, strong and disposable. - Mrs. White, (Clue 1985)
 
Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.
 
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
 
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
 
I could've eaten Alphabits and crapped out a better essay!!
 
Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.
 
The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.
 
What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?
 
How Many Roads Must A Man Walk Down Before He Admits Hes lost?
 
Guys: No Shirt, No Service - Gals: No Shirt, No Charge
 
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. A. Whitney Brown
 
Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. Lily Tomlin
 
"Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway." - Joey Adams

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